Thursday, 28 March 2013

I Am Not Afraid To Walk This World Alone...

Hello my beauties! If you follow me on my Facebook or Twitter you will know that I have been away this week, hence why I haven't been blogging and the merry month of March has been a month I have been tight with money, so not many hauls to share with you!

However, I really thought I better write to you lovely lot, as you seem to take the time and read my blog, whether its about my beauty and fashion or whether I am feeling deep... Much like I am today.

So you are probably thinking what the title is all about, so let me explain. The past couple of weeks have been hard, and I have had to come to terms with a lot of stuff, I can't say publicly what some of these are, but honestly, they got me down... So lets explain.

Since around mid-February, I felt everything was crashing down around me, I cried, and I did the worst thing possible... Pretend everything was okay, not talk to anyone. I put that smile on my face, not the happy one... The "look happy and no one will realise what's going on inside" smile. Lets explain the title... What made everything much worse, was the fact my favourite band My Chemical Romance split - (if you didn't know many years ago I used to be into rock and heavy rock music and fashion, I wore a lot of black and heavy make-up, super short hair with an emo fringe...) Even though I no longer sported my 'Black Parade' themed fashion, MCR's music has got me through a lot of tough times, to then have them split, broke my heart. The title is lyrics from the chorus of one of my all time favourite MCR songs 'Famous Last Words' ... So, what did I do? I escaped, I ran away and I took everything into perspective. This week I went away to see my lovely friend in Leicester where we both went to see Olly Murs in Cardiff (sidenote; Olly was absolutely outstanding, even if he did rip his trousers and trip on stage.. Twice.) And by getting away from home for 4 days, not confronting the things that got me down, I then had the chance to understand what was happening and going on. Now, I'm back, when I was away, something followed me, and you know what I did? I ignored it. I rose above it. My subconscious became my friend, telling me "Sweetheart, you don't need to do this to yourself. You are better then this, and you are perfect, whether everyone or no one sees that, you are p-e-r-fect".

So my advice for you? 

1. Love - If you get down over love, especially at my age, pick your tiara/crown up off the floor, you are young and you have your whole life ahead of you! I know everyone says it, but honestly, you are so young, there are millions of people in the world, and there is someone for everyone, the only things you need to do is focus on is you and make yourself perfect for YOU, nobody else! You are stunning and gorgeous no matter what anyone says! So what you don't have the perfect teeth or the skinny figure with the big boobs and butt, but really, who wants to be a Barbie doll, when you can be you?! 

2. Trendsetter - For me especially this is the most important, don't stress if someone does something you uniquely do, its flattery! If someone copies your shoes, your dress, your make-up "your look" see it as a compliment! Maybe they think what you have done is good and they want to give it a go, don't see it as bad! You are the trend setter, be proud of that!

3. Music - Personally, music is a very important part of my life, as said above when MCR split, my heart shattered into a million pieces, but just cause the band split doesn't mean their music won't stop inspiring me and mending my wounds when I'm hurt. Especially now. On Sunday before I went away, I wore my Black Parade jacket, as if it were a bandage to make everything better, and honestly, it was a security blanket. The jacket gave me so much joy and happiness when I was younger and gave me so much inspiration, to which I can only thank MCR for. However, if you are down, my biggest, and maybe most important tip would be, don't listen to sad or depressive songs, they really will only make you feel worse - easier said then done I know (hypocrite of my own words at times, but truth must be told!) Listen to happy songs, that make you feel better! They will cheer you up! Pick a song that has a happy memory to over-ride the bad thought! 

4. You are YOU - This is probably the most important tip. Never, EVER, let anyone tell you that you aren't good enough. I have let too many people walk over me, tell me I'm not good enough or I wont be good at something... Prove them damn wrong! You can be whatever you want to do, if you put your heart and soul into it! Never let one person deny you a world of opportunities, and maybe if you are the one with doubt... Prove yourself wrong! 'Cause really, you can do anything you dream of, there really is no limits!

5. Wounds need time - I am a victim of my own crime. Lets say for an example, you accidentally cut yourself with a knife while preparing dinner, the cut won't disappear once it is ran under cold water. Wounds have a process...
  • Open wound - this is when the wound is first created, everything around that wound hurts, no matter how much you try to deter it away. 
  • Protection - Even when you apply a bandage or plaster to the wound, it doesn't make it disappear. It only helps to protect the wound from any more damage that may cause more pain.
  • Pain - The wound may sting or be painful, the damage has already been done, there is nothing you can do, everything up till now is uncontrollable...
  • Healing - Until now... In my view you can take the healing process in two ways.        1) Positive - You can turn every negative into a positive, you turn everything bad to good. You start with yourself - look happy and be happy. Your appearance can not only reflect your own feelings but can also make an effect on other peoples. Over-ride the bad with the good!  2) Negative - You see everything as bad, and the pain lasts longer then you want it to. You take everything good away from yourself and replace it with bad, healing seems a far far place away from where you are now. You are digging yourself in a hole you can't get out of alone... You need positive to give you a helping hand...
Honestly, these past couple of weeks I've been in a bad horrible place, I won't lie to you. Healing doesn't happen overnight, in fact it can take weeks or months, sometimes it may leave a scar, but even if it does just say to yourself "If it wasn't for this scar, I wouldn't be where I am now". I hate seeing people down and upset, whether I know them or not. I want people to know I am there for them, yeah I'm not a professional at this, but really who is? I learn from my own life experiences, even though everyone's experiences are different, the wounds take the same process to heal. So hold your head up high, things take time, and you have to allow that time to get yourself into that better place.

I want you to know, whether we know each other or not, that I am here for you. I am that shoulder for you to cry on, to try and help you through. Never let someone's words bring you down, they are just words. 

And again, the Famous Last Words

"I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

Sending you all lots of love

Emma Victoria