Wednesday, 31 July 2013

Lifestyle - How I Get Over Someone & Relationship's

Today I thought I would do a lifestyle post, which is very close to my heart at the moment! I haven't done a little emotional post in a while and thought that now would be a good time to post one! 

So where do we begin? Remember in previous post's (herehere) I mentioned the crazy roller-coaster friendship/relationship thing I was in, well its carried on. However, the past 3 months all we've done is argue, and its come to the point where its pretty ridiculous. I began to get fed up with being treated like an idiot, and also found out he was lying to me. Any surprise he made some excuse about it? I wasn't too surprised. The whole distance thing got to me in the end, and now its been 16 days since we had our last proper conversation, which honestly I'm pleased about. I found in the end that I was always making the effort, starting conversations, keeping conversations going. Honestly? It felt like he just didn't care any more. Why should I care if he doesn't? I've always been one of them people who feels the need to apologise for no reason just so things are easy and there's no arguing, as I can't stand arguing! 

So what did I do to get over him? I did things to take my mind off thinking about him! And now, I couldn't really give a damn any more! Every time I thought about him, I'd have a rubber band on my wrist so I'd ping it hard, sort of a punishment to stop me thinking about him, and now it's worked! Feelings and routine are always that little more harder to change and get over; the thing I did to get out of routine of talking every day to this guy was talk to one of my close friends, my friend Ricky has been an absolute star for me! Every time I felt like an urge to talk to him or I was upset, Ricky would talk to me and remind me why I'm doing this! It doesn't happen overnight, but when you start to look at it from an outside perspective (looking in on the situation, instead thinking of yourself in the situation) you begin to realise why you are doing it, and it will only make you stronger! I'm doing it because I'm fed up of being treated like I have no feelings and that nothing matters in the other persons eyes! You have to be strong and persistent, but also determined to do it. I tend to be weak willed at things like this, but I've tried so hard to do this and get over him, and I will do it!

I think the most important thing to do is to keep yourself occupied, find an activity to do, even in the house when you probably think the most, you need to take your mind of the situation, and if you do think about it, remind yourself why you are doing it! I took cross stitch and knitting back-up, I find cross stitch very therapeutic when I'm upset or angry, it sounds silly, but pushing that needle through cloth, for me, is a release of trapped emotions. Another really important tip is that, don't stop making an effort to look good, because if you don't look good you can't feel good! I found the last time I was left heartbroken and hurt, all I did was wear a pair of jeans, a top and a leather jacket. It was pretty much all I wore, I wore no make-up just because I couldn't be bothered, I let my emotions get to me, which  I shouldn't have done! This time, I'm making the effort, because I know I'm worth it! Even going shopping can make you feel better, because you are looking for items to make yourself look good, and make you feel better! Make that person who hurt you, realise what they have lost!

I must admit, the first few days were a real struggle for me to do, constantly thinking about him, being upset because he never made the effort to speak to me, thinking what I'd done wrong- but I realised I was making all the effort. I'm now at the stage of not caring for this person any more; being friends is a two way thing, it shouldn't be just one person making the effort to communicate. I learn't the hard way, that sometimes things just don't work out the way you think they might. 

Overall, I would say that now, I'm definitely on the way to being over this person, and what they've done to me. Obviously, I don't want to say everything that has happened, cause some bits are private and I'd prefer to keep them to myself. Friends are really important when getting over someone and how they treat you. Even one friend can make a difference, for them to talk to you and take your mind off the situation, can be really important. But you have to help yourself overall, don't go telling yourself something that isn't true like 'Oh they are probably just busy', if they did care, they'd make the effort, especially after 2 weeks. You have to remember, you aren't the one who's lost someone, they have lost you, not the other way round. They've lost the person who is kind, affectionate and caring. 

If any of you wish to speak to me, or need advice, please feel welcomed to drop me a private email ( and I will reply ASAP.

Also don't forget to look out for my lovely friend Anja's guest post.. This friday!!

Lots of Love

Emma Victoria